At almost the same time last year, I can’t believe we’re here again. What I thought would only last a month, lasted an entire year and still ongoing and getting out of everybody’s control: ours, the healthcare system, the government.
Covid sucks. Big time.
My mental health has been terribly hit. I remember it was July of last year when I gave in and broke down. Something triggered me and I just couldn’t function. I cried from noon to night. Nothing could pacify me, not even my husband and kids. My anxiety attacks became frequent and out of hand.
I’ve been better since then. I believe I gained back the control that I used to have. Until Covid hits us again two/three weeks ago.
Relatives got infected, again. We had family members who contracted the virus last year, back then we didn’t know what to do. We were clueless as to who to call, where to go. We learned from it.
This time around, we thought we got it in control, we’ve been through this last year and we will make it through again. Or so we thought.
An entire family got infected and they lost their parents on two consecutive days. Siblings were in quarantine facilities and hospitals. Parents got cremated without them. Only one child got the huge responsibility on her shoulders to take care of everything: their parents’ cremation, the documents that needed to be filled, the needs of siblings in the hospital and quarantine facilities, disinfecting an empty home. Imagine how different their lives were just a week ago before Covid hit their home.
I thought 2020 was the worst year, 2021 is beating that.
A week after those deaths, I received a call that another relative passed on. She lived a full and happy life, she did not succumb to Covid but because of strict protocols, loved ones cannot visit her wake. Only a few were able to attend her interment. We joined through Facebook live and it sucked to not to be able to pay your last respects to a person who’s been an integral part of your life.
My mental health is starting to decline again. I am taking Melatonin at double dosage, as prescribed by my doctor, to help me sleep at night. I divert my attention to making candles to free my mind of any stressors. But, my nerves get the better of me whenever my phone rings, I dread that it will be news of another death in the family. I stopped watching the news for months but started again when I saw the spike.
It’s getting scarier by the day.
Almost 10,000 new cases daily. I see news of Remdesivir being unavailable in hospitals, oxygen tanks are getting scarce, intubation kits are lacking, hospitals are beyond full capacity. Imagine a waiting time of 10 days before you can be admitted to the hospital. Can we survive 10 days if we got infected?
Whether the numbers are real or not, whether the government is doing their best or not. Covid is still here and it’s taking away parents, siblings, relatives and loved ones from each one of us, much faster than when the pandemic started.
Our own safety lies in our hands. Stay safe, stay home and pray.